Transitions in Season…
While watching a Ken Burns documentary on baseball, I picked up a phrase that is relatively new to professional sports. For decades, players remained pretty much with the primary team that had drafted them and brought them up through that team’s farm system.
But, in the late 1960’s, player arbitration came on the scene when Sandy Kofax and Don Drysdale negotiated the first “out of system” contract. After that, baseball changed forever. It is now not unusual for a player to play for as many as 6 or 7 teams during their career because of what is known as “transitions in season”. This is the process by which, at the end of a particular season or “season of seasons”, the player would renegotiate their contract, usually leaving their previous team for a new one.
The result was that once long-term relationships became “season to season” experiences where change became the mode of operation instead of identities that connected players to teams in infinity. Sure, you have a Derek Jeter who has played his entire career for the Yankees. But, for every Jeter, we now have hundreds of players who travel from team to team--- transition in season, depending on what the player asks for, what the team is willing to pay, what type of skills the player brings to the team, and what type of team the organization is wanting to build.
Add to this the basic emotions and difficulties of any change and transition, and Major League Baseball no longer means a DiMaggio is synonymous with the Yankees, it means a player is sinuous… now… for this season… until the next transition.
Unfortunately, churches are no better today, especially larger ones. In a previous generation of large, successful churches built by long term pastorates of exceptional men who intersected perfectly with the “Greatest Generation” and the Baby Boomers returning to church, the next generation of leaders, as well as the churches themselves, are finding the “transitions in season” difficult to navigate.
Nowhere is this more evident than in the events of the past week at our sister church, Frazer Memorial UMC, in Montgomery. During the past several days, Frazer has experienced the resignation of their long-time Teaching pastor for their contemporary service, John Schmidt, the resignation of another teaching pastor who bridge between services, and most recently, the resignation of their Senior Pastor, Dr. Barry Carpenter.
All of these resignations are effective immediately. Their transitions in season happened so quickly, that they did not even wait for the normal appointment process through July 1st of next year.
There is much speculation as to the cause. But, as I have learned through my own recent transition, only those closest to the situation know all of the facts. Thus, it is our job not to “figure out why” but to pray and support our brothers and sisters in the faith. Transition is not fun, and their road ahead is long.
However, given our own recent difficulties in transition, several of you have emailed to inquire of my state of mind in continuing to serve as the Senior Pastor of GBUMC. First, I appreciate your concern. But, second, I assure you that I am in the place I need to be and committed to our work together for several years to come.
In fact, just last week, Bishop Leland and I had a long meeting in which he asked my intentions for the coming appointment season, and I stated my desire to remain as the Senior Pastor for our congregation.
On that note, please pray for our bishop. He is a very kind, warm-hearted man with great responsibility on his shoulders right now. He needs our care and concern more than ever.
My perception is that congregations, including our own, have become so distracted by the Adversary during transition that we forget to live, simply as the Church together. In the process, we miss the power and potential of what God is doing from one season to the next.
That is why, for the next several weeks, I will focus us on the future of what I believe God is leading in my heart as I lead your hearts in ministry for the coming year.
For instance, in 2010, God has consistently reminded me of our covenant to Love Jesus and Love Like Jesus by the image of a man “reaching”. The idea of reaching comes in many forms, and for our congregation it means several things.
First, we will Reach Up in 2010. We will seek God’s guidance, Will, love and direction by growing deeper in our relationship with Him and by going in the direction He would have us go.
Second, we will Reach Out in 2010 by continuing to invite those who are unchurched and dischurched into our fellowship. It is more than a church program; it is the Gospel (Matthew 28: 18-20).
Third, we will Reach Around in 2010 by putting our arms around each other, to care for one another in fellowship and community. Needing one another in Christ does not mean agreeing with everything that the other stands for. But, it does mean respecting each other, as family should do.
Finally, we will Reach Behind in 2010 to help bring forward those who are the most fragile, forgotten and marginalized in our community. The church is no better than how much of it we are willing to give away--- Bonhoeffer.
Thus, my friends, please pray as we move forward in this season of our church’s life. God has great things in store for a great church in 2010, and WE WILL be faithful to live out our potential. God deserves our best in this, and we won’t disappoint him.
And, again, pray for our brothers and sisters at Frazer Memorial and at other churches for whom the season has created such contention that it has broken more hearts than it has mended. How senseless… How sad!
I love you. I look forward to working with you.
Blessings.
Be Salt and Light… oh… and Happy Thanksgiving!
Shane
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Reigniting a Holy Brand!
Several years ago, I wrote this article talking about the importance of “re-branding” the local church in our communities. At first, people did not know what to make of using such secular terms to discuss the more holy avenues of our lives. But, once they got past the terminology, they understood the point of the article--- the church must re-invent itself if it is to be successful in the future.
A recent article in the magazine, Fast Company, said the same of business. If a business does not learn the language, the likes, the dislikes, the worries, fears, dreams, and habits of those they are trying to attract as customers, it cannot succeed. The consumer base is too fickle with a memory that is very short-term.
So what about the Church? What distinguishes us from EVERYTHING ELSE THAT A PERSON COULD BE DOING ON SUNDAY MORNING? Or, what would make a person choose being involved in the life of the church versus being involved in any other social network or organization.
After all, there is a web experience for almost every aspect of the traditional church life now. You can worship online, be in Bible study online, find serving opportunities on line and offer your prayers or receive counseling online. Christianity Today even highlighted a new website that allows you to make your confessions online. Talk about one stop shopping!
And, the articles discussed what any organization in our modern world needs for energizing its core. The church is no different, though most of our congregations are stuck in old patterns that lead to little or no real change. To put it mildly, most churches are spiritually anemic and nothing saddens me more.
The following are my takes on what these articles concluded were necessary to re-ignite the “holy brand” of our local church and to help us reach beyond the walls for the unchurched and dischurched of our community. They are only my “take” on a broader, tested Biblical concept that speaks volumes in how congregations can reignite their core passions and live faithfully into the future for their communities and world.
Principle One: Passion is Personal. Nothing substitutes for people believing that what they do or who they are means something (John 2: 12-22). Passion inspires vision; vision inspires mission; mission inspires results. What are you passionate about today? What in the life of your church challenges you to get out of your comfort zone and reach those outside the walls of our congregation?
Principle Two: Word of Mouth Still Works Best. In a culture that relies on more and more impersonal means of communication, the most effective forms are still personal and direct. One on one” interaction trumps mass communication when seeking to provide long term effects. The woman at the well knew the teachings, but it was Jesus knowing her that changed her life forever. In what ways are you providing positive “word of mouth” witness to your friends and relatives about the life of GBUMC? Or… goodness forbid… have your words done more to tear down the ministry of the church you love?
Principle Three: Follow Me Home. Plain and simple--The closer an organization gets to those they serve, the better the organization serves. Remember, Jesus washed the disciples’ feet himself! In what ways are we “following people home” and becoming a part of their daily routines. Are we simply a visit on Sundays or another check on the “to do” list? If people were forced to narrow their lives to only three things to which they could give their time, would “church” be one of them?
Principle Four: All Success Begins Small. Even great journeys begin with one small step. Churches want too much, too quickly. Dialog, planning and purpose must always begin with people agreeing to begin at the beginning. I know this is not very poetic, but it is nonetheless true! Even Jesus’ ministry began with simple steps from the Jordan River. What are the “simple steps” we take each week to live as the “hands and feet of Jesus” in our world? How do these simple steps inspire people to know our church better and to seek a connection?
Principle Five: No Connection, No Bother. People must connect to the people and purpose of a church in order to “stick” around. No matter the excitement on the front end, people need substance not show. When we see a church with no connection, we see a church with a huge back door. Great crowds gather for meals along the shore, but the truly committed remain through the Cross. How large is the “backdoor” of our church? What can we do to close it?
Each of these principles speaks to the heart of what it means for us to grow into this next generation. Please pray for our church that we will live faithfully in these new methods while proclaiming a message that NEVER changes.
Several years ago, I wrote this article talking about the importance of “re-branding” the local church in our communities. At first, people did not know what to make of using such secular terms to discuss the more holy avenues of our lives. But, once they got past the terminology, they understood the point of the article--- the church must re-invent itself if it is to be successful in the future.
A recent article in the magazine, Fast Company, said the same of business. If a business does not learn the language, the likes, the dislikes, the worries, fears, dreams, and habits of those they are trying to attract as customers, it cannot succeed. The consumer base is too fickle with a memory that is very short-term.
So what about the Church? What distinguishes us from EVERYTHING ELSE THAT A PERSON COULD BE DOING ON SUNDAY MORNING? Or, what would make a person choose being involved in the life of the church versus being involved in any other social network or organization.
After all, there is a web experience for almost every aspect of the traditional church life now. You can worship online, be in Bible study online, find serving opportunities on line and offer your prayers or receive counseling online. Christianity Today even highlighted a new website that allows you to make your confessions online. Talk about one stop shopping!
And, the articles discussed what any organization in our modern world needs for energizing its core. The church is no different, though most of our congregations are stuck in old patterns that lead to little or no real change. To put it mildly, most churches are spiritually anemic and nothing saddens me more.
The following are my takes on what these articles concluded were necessary to re-ignite the “holy brand” of our local church and to help us reach beyond the walls for the unchurched and dischurched of our community. They are only my “take” on a broader, tested Biblical concept that speaks volumes in how congregations can reignite their core passions and live faithfully into the future for their communities and world.
Principle One: Passion is Personal. Nothing substitutes for people believing that what they do or who they are means something (John 2: 12-22). Passion inspires vision; vision inspires mission; mission inspires results. What are you passionate about today? What in the life of your church challenges you to get out of your comfort zone and reach those outside the walls of our congregation?
Principle Two: Word of Mouth Still Works Best. In a culture that relies on more and more impersonal means of communication, the most effective forms are still personal and direct. One on one” interaction trumps mass communication when seeking to provide long term effects. The woman at the well knew the teachings, but it was Jesus knowing her that changed her life forever. In what ways are you providing positive “word of mouth” witness to your friends and relatives about the life of GBUMC? Or… goodness forbid… have your words done more to tear down the ministry of the church you love?
Principle Three: Follow Me Home. Plain and simple--The closer an organization gets to those they serve, the better the organization serves. Remember, Jesus washed the disciples’ feet himself! In what ways are we “following people home” and becoming a part of their daily routines. Are we simply a visit on Sundays or another check on the “to do” list? If people were forced to narrow their lives to only three things to which they could give their time, would “church” be one of them?
Principle Four: All Success Begins Small. Even great journeys begin with one small step. Churches want too much, too quickly. Dialog, planning and purpose must always begin with people agreeing to begin at the beginning. I know this is not very poetic, but it is nonetheless true! Even Jesus’ ministry began with simple steps from the Jordan River. What are the “simple steps” we take each week to live as the “hands and feet of Jesus” in our world? How do these simple steps inspire people to know our church better and to seek a connection?
Principle Five: No Connection, No Bother. People must connect to the people and purpose of a church in order to “stick” around. No matter the excitement on the front end, people need substance not show. When we see a church with no connection, we see a church with a huge back door. Great crowds gather for meals along the shore, but the truly committed remain through the Cross. How large is the “backdoor” of our church? What can we do to close it?
Each of these principles speaks to the heart of what it means for us to grow into this next generation. Please pray for our church that we will live faithfully in these new methods while proclaiming a message that NEVER changes.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
An Unexpected Verdict
Dan was a successful attorney, but he was not as successful at life. He arrived at my office on a Monday and proceeded to ask for the best advice I could give him about why “faith should matter”. He wanted an answer immediately. But, I asked him to give me some time. And, so, I spent several days thinking of what I should say.
The night before our next meeting, I awoke and wrote two phrases on the pad sitting on the nightstand. They were “Love Jesus” and “Love Like Jesus”. I couldn’t think of anything more important for those of us who call ourselves Christian. It is not enough that we know Jesus and say we want to live like him. We need to put our energies into loving him, knowing him, understanding him, becoming like him. And, then we live our energies in the world loving like he did for those who are the most forgotten and the least of these our brothers and sisters.
After sharing these phrases with my friend, I watched as his life changed. It was not my words or wisdom, but the simplicity of God working in him that transformed his priorities and life. He began to read his Bible more, attended one Bible and life study after another. He became a regular in the church and volunteered to serve in multiple serving opportunities. He also joined a small, accountability group that provided a new approach to community.
But, that was not enough for Dan. Several months went by until Dan resigned from his law firm to take the directorship of a community ministry association that ministers to the needs of the under-resourced. It was a huge life decision, but one that provided a new joy and direction for his life. Of course, it shocked everyone who had known the ‘old Dan’, but to those of us who had watched his life over the past months, we knew that he wanted more.
Over the next years, his life flourished and his work made a difference. Dan not only did amazing things in helping those in need, but he changed the spirit of his own life. And, maybe most importantly, he changed the spirit of his family, friends, small group and church. People could not help but notice what had happened in his life. They saw the changes, certainly, where Dan seemed more at peace, more content, but they also saw the joy and presence of mind that gave life purpose. But, nothing compared to when they saw the results of what God would do in another person’s life through the work of Dan’s newfound career and motives. The more he gave his life away in service to others, the more he found the real meaning of his life. Dan’s life had been successful; now it was significant.
So what about your life? Are you happy with the status quo, of getting by with the same routines that lead through lots of activity but with little results that you cling to. Have you felt the pressure to be everything to everyone, and you end up being nothing or, at least, very little to no one. And, when you do find something that gives you joy, excitement and a feeling of purpose, how does that translate into what God really needs for you to accomplish both for yourself but also within the Body of Christ.?
The questions keep coming because this is more than getting our calendars in order, our ‘to-do’ lists straight, or deciding what our next “volunteer” ministry will be. This is how we are wired up. This is the way God has framed our being. Apart from experiencing His presence, this IS what relationship in Christ is all about. It is the lynchpin of the Good News--- that Christ has transformed our lives and wants us to live as that transformed presence in the world.
My friend, this is not supposed to be complicated. You have much to offer in the Body of Christ. God has gifted you, yes, you, and I want to help you discover that passion area and the way he has wired you up to accomplish significant things for the kingdom. Yes, I said—You and significant things for the kingdom. It is the Gospel Imperative, but it is also part of your birthright as the Children of God.
Faith in Christ is more than signing in the attendance books on Sunday morning or doing your round in the 5th grade Sunday School wing (though those are both very important). It is about awakening the very image of God inside of you, and then sharing that with the world. And… (and this is a big ‘And’) as you are doing that in your life, others are doing the same thing, and the Body of Christ awakens to accomplish something significant.
Someone once asked a small, aging nun in one of the most depressed parts of the world why it was that, even with her failing health, she marched into the courtyard of the convent every morning to care for the countless sick and dying who lay on the makeshift stretchers. After all, she was far too aged and had paid her dues. After a moment, this wonderful woman of God (not unlike many we know with her love, doubts, fears and joys for Jesus) looked and said, “Because this is how they will see Christ… and how I will see Him, too.” Simple enough. Powerful… enough.
The convent in question was in Calcutta, India. The patients were AIDS victims, lepers and those dying of diseases with no names yet. The woman was Mother Theresa. She couldn’t do Everything…. So she did something. And, well, yes, the rest is history.
So, over the next weeks, months and years—Love Jesus and, then, Love Like Jeus. Go make history, my friend. The world needs you… now.
Be Salt and Light… You Matter!
Shane
Dan was a successful attorney, but he was not as successful at life. He arrived at my office on a Monday and proceeded to ask for the best advice I could give him about why “faith should matter”. He wanted an answer immediately. But, I asked him to give me some time. And, so, I spent several days thinking of what I should say.
The night before our next meeting, I awoke and wrote two phrases on the pad sitting on the nightstand. They were “Love Jesus” and “Love Like Jesus”. I couldn’t think of anything more important for those of us who call ourselves Christian. It is not enough that we know Jesus and say we want to live like him. We need to put our energies into loving him, knowing him, understanding him, becoming like him. And, then we live our energies in the world loving like he did for those who are the most forgotten and the least of these our brothers and sisters.
After sharing these phrases with my friend, I watched as his life changed. It was not my words or wisdom, but the simplicity of God working in him that transformed his priorities and life. He began to read his Bible more, attended one Bible and life study after another. He became a regular in the church and volunteered to serve in multiple serving opportunities. He also joined a small, accountability group that provided a new approach to community.
But, that was not enough for Dan. Several months went by until Dan resigned from his law firm to take the directorship of a community ministry association that ministers to the needs of the under-resourced. It was a huge life decision, but one that provided a new joy and direction for his life. Of course, it shocked everyone who had known the ‘old Dan’, but to those of us who had watched his life over the past months, we knew that he wanted more.
Over the next years, his life flourished and his work made a difference. Dan not only did amazing things in helping those in need, but he changed the spirit of his own life. And, maybe most importantly, he changed the spirit of his family, friends, small group and church. People could not help but notice what had happened in his life. They saw the changes, certainly, where Dan seemed more at peace, more content, but they also saw the joy and presence of mind that gave life purpose. But, nothing compared to when they saw the results of what God would do in another person’s life through the work of Dan’s newfound career and motives. The more he gave his life away in service to others, the more he found the real meaning of his life. Dan’s life had been successful; now it was significant.
So what about your life? Are you happy with the status quo, of getting by with the same routines that lead through lots of activity but with little results that you cling to. Have you felt the pressure to be everything to everyone, and you end up being nothing or, at least, very little to no one. And, when you do find something that gives you joy, excitement and a feeling of purpose, how does that translate into what God really needs for you to accomplish both for yourself but also within the Body of Christ.?
The questions keep coming because this is more than getting our calendars in order, our ‘to-do’ lists straight, or deciding what our next “volunteer” ministry will be. This is how we are wired up. This is the way God has framed our being. Apart from experiencing His presence, this IS what relationship in Christ is all about. It is the lynchpin of the Good News--- that Christ has transformed our lives and wants us to live as that transformed presence in the world.
My friend, this is not supposed to be complicated. You have much to offer in the Body of Christ. God has gifted you, yes, you, and I want to help you discover that passion area and the way he has wired you up to accomplish significant things for the kingdom. Yes, I said—You and significant things for the kingdom. It is the Gospel Imperative, but it is also part of your birthright as the Children of God.
Faith in Christ is more than signing in the attendance books on Sunday morning or doing your round in the 5th grade Sunday School wing (though those are both very important). It is about awakening the very image of God inside of you, and then sharing that with the world. And… (and this is a big ‘And’) as you are doing that in your life, others are doing the same thing, and the Body of Christ awakens to accomplish something significant.
Someone once asked a small, aging nun in one of the most depressed parts of the world why it was that, even with her failing health, she marched into the courtyard of the convent every morning to care for the countless sick and dying who lay on the makeshift stretchers. After all, she was far too aged and had paid her dues. After a moment, this wonderful woman of God (not unlike many we know with her love, doubts, fears and joys for Jesus) looked and said, “Because this is how they will see Christ… and how I will see Him, too.” Simple enough. Powerful… enough.
The convent in question was in Calcutta, India. The patients were AIDS victims, lepers and those dying of diseases with no names yet. The woman was Mother Theresa. She couldn’t do Everything…. So she did something. And, well, yes, the rest is history.
So, over the next weeks, months and years—Love Jesus and, then, Love Like Jeus. Go make history, my friend. The world needs you… now.
Be Salt and Light… You Matter!
Shane
Thursday, October 08, 2009
A Friend Named Greg
Greg Jenks spent most of his life as the quintessential United Methodist pastor. Everyone you talk to, colleagues, friends, family, loves Greg. You see instantly his humility and love for God. But, you also see an incredible love for God’s people, born from a deep spiritual mission that, over the last few years, has changed thousands of lives.
In 2004, Greg heard the testimony of a 15-year-old girl that struck at the core of his heart. Her testimony about the unbelievable needs in sub-Saharan Africa created by pandemic poverty and disease haunted Greg. What could he do? Just a few years before, he had committed to plant a new church in his Annual Conference. God was certainly not calling him to leave that mission for another new start? Or was He? It did not make any sense. First, he thought of simply organizing trips and teams. But, God kept calling for more—there was always ‘one other thing’ in Greg’s conversations with God.
Finally, to the surprise of his congregation, family, and, most importantly, to Greg himself, he left pastoral ministry and founded ZOE as a means for organizing teams and groups to address the needs of orphans, particularly in Zimbabwe. Greg found that not only was the need great, but the skills by which God had gifted him came to life in this project. After only a year, over 1,000 orphans had found assistance and love and support through ZOE. But, God did not stop there. In the next five years, ZOE expanded to Rwanda, Kenya, and Zambia. Today, there are staff offices for ZOE in the United States and Africa. The programs now include more than basic, response supplies but programs that provide for long-term support and success for those affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa, especially the children. Today, through ZOE, a child, who only a few years ago would, along with his or her family, have struggled to meet the basic, daily needs, now has training and life opportunities that not only change their lives but can possibly change their communities. All because a man named Greg Jenks did ‘something’.
The first time I met Greg Jenks was at a meeting of the United Methodist Global AIDS Fund. Greg is a humble, incredibly focused, but yet, very normal man. His presence does not particularly overwhelm you--until he begins to share his passion for children and families who are hurting around the world. No, Greg Jenks in his very ordinary way has lived out an extraordinary plan for his life.
One of the first times I heard Greg speak, he told of those first days in his former life after hearing the testimony of that young girl. Greg said the first intuition was to “do something”, but that seemed so insignificant, so inconsequential. Therefore, he began to think in large, grand terms about what could be done. But, the more he thought, the more discouraged he became as he grew overwhelmed by what he had seen and learned about the pandemic and those affected. 40,000,000 AIDS orphans, 14,000 people dying daily from bad water and not enough food, intense discrimination against young girls and women, and incredibly unstable political structures made almost any plan risky and seemingly undoable. But, Greg was seriously disturbed by God’s call on his life, and He knew that God wanted him to do something. But, what could one person do? Why was God burdening his soul for such a seemingly unreachable task?
That is when Greg said the Holy Spirit intervened, and he heard God speak into his soul, “Just follow me, Greg… Just follow.” Greg DID follow, creating ZOE as his one small way to respond to the crisis, and the lives of thousands of children have not been the same since. Greg finished the presentation with these words, “I don’t know what God wants from you, but I know He wants something. It was planted like a seed inside of you from the beginning, and He expects and needs for it to grow and blossom. All you are asked to do is water and nurture it. Nothing more, nothing less. God will do the rest.”
Next Sunday, you will have the opportunity to let that seed that God planted in you take root. In the coming week, please pray about what it is God wants you to do and then on October 18th you will be able to choose from any of the many ways to serve inside the church, outside the church and around the world.
And then on November 22nd, Gulf Breeze UMC will have the privilege of hearing from Greg Jenks and representatives of ZOE Ministry. They will speak at worship services for all three campuses. Our goal over the next year is to build a partnership bridge between GBUMC’s heart for the hurting and under resourced and ZOE ministry.
I can’t wait to watch what God will do through this partnership as he broadens our scope to Africa and helps us to be the “hands and feet of Jesus” here and around the world. Please pray for Greg’s time with us, that God will unveil how GBUMC can make a difference in those dear, sweet lives who show such love but have so little.
More to come…
Greg Jenks spent most of his life as the quintessential United Methodist pastor. Everyone you talk to, colleagues, friends, family, loves Greg. You see instantly his humility and love for God. But, you also see an incredible love for God’s people, born from a deep spiritual mission that, over the last few years, has changed thousands of lives.
In 2004, Greg heard the testimony of a 15-year-old girl that struck at the core of his heart. Her testimony about the unbelievable needs in sub-Saharan Africa created by pandemic poverty and disease haunted Greg. What could he do? Just a few years before, he had committed to plant a new church in his Annual Conference. God was certainly not calling him to leave that mission for another new start? Or was He? It did not make any sense. First, he thought of simply organizing trips and teams. But, God kept calling for more—there was always ‘one other thing’ in Greg’s conversations with God.
Finally, to the surprise of his congregation, family, and, most importantly, to Greg himself, he left pastoral ministry and founded ZOE as a means for organizing teams and groups to address the needs of orphans, particularly in Zimbabwe. Greg found that not only was the need great, but the skills by which God had gifted him came to life in this project. After only a year, over 1,000 orphans had found assistance and love and support through ZOE. But, God did not stop there. In the next five years, ZOE expanded to Rwanda, Kenya, and Zambia. Today, there are staff offices for ZOE in the United States and Africa. The programs now include more than basic, response supplies but programs that provide for long-term support and success for those affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa, especially the children. Today, through ZOE, a child, who only a few years ago would, along with his or her family, have struggled to meet the basic, daily needs, now has training and life opportunities that not only change their lives but can possibly change their communities. All because a man named Greg Jenks did ‘something’.
The first time I met Greg Jenks was at a meeting of the United Methodist Global AIDS Fund. Greg is a humble, incredibly focused, but yet, very normal man. His presence does not particularly overwhelm you--until he begins to share his passion for children and families who are hurting around the world. No, Greg Jenks in his very ordinary way has lived out an extraordinary plan for his life.
One of the first times I heard Greg speak, he told of those first days in his former life after hearing the testimony of that young girl. Greg said the first intuition was to “do something”, but that seemed so insignificant, so inconsequential. Therefore, he began to think in large, grand terms about what could be done. But, the more he thought, the more discouraged he became as he grew overwhelmed by what he had seen and learned about the pandemic and those affected. 40,000,000 AIDS orphans, 14,000 people dying daily from bad water and not enough food, intense discrimination against young girls and women, and incredibly unstable political structures made almost any plan risky and seemingly undoable. But, Greg was seriously disturbed by God’s call on his life, and He knew that God wanted him to do something. But, what could one person do? Why was God burdening his soul for such a seemingly unreachable task?
That is when Greg said the Holy Spirit intervened, and he heard God speak into his soul, “Just follow me, Greg… Just follow.” Greg DID follow, creating ZOE as his one small way to respond to the crisis, and the lives of thousands of children have not been the same since. Greg finished the presentation with these words, “I don’t know what God wants from you, but I know He wants something. It was planted like a seed inside of you from the beginning, and He expects and needs for it to grow and blossom. All you are asked to do is water and nurture it. Nothing more, nothing less. God will do the rest.”
Next Sunday, you will have the opportunity to let that seed that God planted in you take root. In the coming week, please pray about what it is God wants you to do and then on October 18th you will be able to choose from any of the many ways to serve inside the church, outside the church and around the world.
And then on November 22nd, Gulf Breeze UMC will have the privilege of hearing from Greg Jenks and representatives of ZOE Ministry. They will speak at worship services for all three campuses. Our goal over the next year is to build a partnership bridge between GBUMC’s heart for the hurting and under resourced and ZOE ministry.
I can’t wait to watch what God will do through this partnership as he broadens our scope to Africa and helps us to be the “hands and feet of Jesus” here and around the world. Please pray for Greg’s time with us, that God will unveil how GBUMC can make a difference in those dear, sweet lives who show such love but have so little.
More to come…
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Our Friends Under the Bridge
“Do they belong to us?” It sounds like an odd question, but not to a three year old trying to make sense of why the folks living under the bridge have no where to go. My youngest daughter, Emma Leigh, and I had taken a day trip to New Orleans, some 85 miles from where we were living at the time. It was a couple of years after Hurricane Katrina had ravaged the city. And, although many groups had made life a little more bearable for the masses of homeless who call New Orleans home, the underpasses of Interstate 10 are still filled with those who have no other place to go. One part, in particular, is prolific with those living in such conditions. It is the Canal Street exit, and as soon as you turn off of the interstate you stop at a traffic light and one either side, behind and in front of you are those living in a makeshift tent city.
I noticed the people and was surprised by the number. Emma Leigh saw them, too. Emma Leigh was three years old at the time and though she was still a baby in so many ways, she had the vocabulary of a child so much older, largely due to older sisters who included her in almost every make believe world they created. I adjusted my rear view mirror to watch her eyes. That is when she asked, “Daddy, who are they?” I explained that the men and women under the bridge didn’t have homes and that they were living the best way they knew. It was then that Emma Leigh stunned me. “Why don’t their mommies and daddies come get them?” she asked. In her little world, everyone has mommies and daddies who take care of their children. I wondered how many of them had wished the same thing.
I explained to Emma Leigh that many of them didn’t have family any more or that they couldn’t get in touch with their family or that their family was mad at them or them at their families. I could tell in her eyes that this did not make sense. All she knew was a family who loved her very much and who would go anywhere to take care of her and make sure that she was okay. In fact, only a few weeks prior to that trip, she had called me at the office and had been tired and upset. “Can you come get me, Daddy” she said. “Of course, I can” I replied. When she needed her daddy, he showed up. That is what daddies, and mommies, and families do. Of course, she had a whole host of folks who would respond. If, for some reason, she couldn’t have gotten me, she would have gotten her grandmothers or aunt.
But, to have no one did not compute and I could tell that she did not know what to do with it. After a few minutes, she replied. “That’s okay,” she said. “They can go live with their friends”. Once again, in her world, friends took care of each other. And, then, as though she was ready for what my answer might be there, she replied, “or call their church.” Now, it was getting personal, and painful, and I knew that at some point, this three year old would make too much sense even for this situation.
Again, I tried to explain, that their situations were difficult and that they may not have friends who could or would help. That didn’t seem to settle well with her either. She sat there for a second. I kept wondering why the traffic light was taking so long. Finally, I, feeling the need to say something, blurted out, “They just don’t belong to anyone, sweetheart.”
It was at that moment that my three-year-old daughter got the best of me. She was only three, but it was enough. Jesus’ direction to his disciples that they should approach the Father as a child, meant something in that moment, and I, for one, confronted it first hand.
“Don’t they belong to us, Daddy?” she finally responded. This was my 3 year old daughter's way of asking, aren’t we their friends? She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t need to. Her point hit home and reminded me that what unites us is so much deeper than what we allow to divide us… Allow being the key word.
And, my three year old, reminded me that all of us are yoked together by the sheer essence of being the children of God. It didn’t matter what our skin color was, where we were born, how much we had attended Church, or how much we knew about our Bibles. We are all yoked together, first, by the fact that we are all God’s children, and, second, by the fact that God’s children don’t get to pick their brothers and sisters.
Be Salt and Light… You Matter…
Shane
“Do they belong to us?” It sounds like an odd question, but not to a three year old trying to make sense of why the folks living under the bridge have no where to go. My youngest daughter, Emma Leigh, and I had taken a day trip to New Orleans, some 85 miles from where we were living at the time. It was a couple of years after Hurricane Katrina had ravaged the city. And, although many groups had made life a little more bearable for the masses of homeless who call New Orleans home, the underpasses of Interstate 10 are still filled with those who have no other place to go. One part, in particular, is prolific with those living in such conditions. It is the Canal Street exit, and as soon as you turn off of the interstate you stop at a traffic light and one either side, behind and in front of you are those living in a makeshift tent city.
I noticed the people and was surprised by the number. Emma Leigh saw them, too. Emma Leigh was three years old at the time and though she was still a baby in so many ways, she had the vocabulary of a child so much older, largely due to older sisters who included her in almost every make believe world they created. I adjusted my rear view mirror to watch her eyes. That is when she asked, “Daddy, who are they?” I explained that the men and women under the bridge didn’t have homes and that they were living the best way they knew. It was then that Emma Leigh stunned me. “Why don’t their mommies and daddies come get them?” she asked. In her little world, everyone has mommies and daddies who take care of their children. I wondered how many of them had wished the same thing.
I explained to Emma Leigh that many of them didn’t have family any more or that they couldn’t get in touch with their family or that their family was mad at them or them at their families. I could tell in her eyes that this did not make sense. All she knew was a family who loved her very much and who would go anywhere to take care of her and make sure that she was okay. In fact, only a few weeks prior to that trip, she had called me at the office and had been tired and upset. “Can you come get me, Daddy” she said. “Of course, I can” I replied. When she needed her daddy, he showed up. That is what daddies, and mommies, and families do. Of course, she had a whole host of folks who would respond. If, for some reason, she couldn’t have gotten me, she would have gotten her grandmothers or aunt.
But, to have no one did not compute and I could tell that she did not know what to do with it. After a few minutes, she replied. “That’s okay,” she said. “They can go live with their friends”. Once again, in her world, friends took care of each other. And, then, as though she was ready for what my answer might be there, she replied, “or call their church.” Now, it was getting personal, and painful, and I knew that at some point, this three year old would make too much sense even for this situation.
Again, I tried to explain, that their situations were difficult and that they may not have friends who could or would help. That didn’t seem to settle well with her either. She sat there for a second. I kept wondering why the traffic light was taking so long. Finally, I, feeling the need to say something, blurted out, “They just don’t belong to anyone, sweetheart.”
It was at that moment that my three-year-old daughter got the best of me. She was only three, but it was enough. Jesus’ direction to his disciples that they should approach the Father as a child, meant something in that moment, and I, for one, confronted it first hand.
“Don’t they belong to us, Daddy?” she finally responded. This was my 3 year old daughter's way of asking, aren’t we their friends? She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t need to. Her point hit home and reminded me that what unites us is so much deeper than what we allow to divide us… Allow being the key word.
And, my three year old, reminded me that all of us are yoked together by the sheer essence of being the children of God. It didn’t matter what our skin color was, where we were born, how much we had attended Church, or how much we knew about our Bibles. We are all yoked together, first, by the fact that we are all God’s children, and, second, by the fact that God’s children don’t get to pick their brothers and sisters.
Be Salt and Light… You Matter…
Shane
Friday, September 18, 2009
We Always Have A Choice, Part II
Last week, I shared with you an excerpt that talked about choices—choices learned from conversations with my grandfather at our “special place” overlooking a golf course. One of those conversations set in motion how I assimilated some of the most difficult news of my life and how I committed myself to living everyday to make a difference for Christ.
This week’s excerpt picks up where last week’s left off, except this time some twenty-give years later overlooking a different setting, but, also, with long term consequences for my life. This setting was Saddleback Community Church when I, at the invitation of Rick and Kay Warren, shared my story about those early choices.
____________________
Excerpt from “A Positive Life” by Shane Stanford. Prologue, Section: “A Different Stage”
Nearly twenty years after that moment with my grandfather, I shared my story at the Saddleback Global AIDS Summit, founded by Kay and Rick Warren. My grandfather had been right. The story itself made a difference for people, even when it was not particularly welcome and when people did not know what to do with it.
I was scheduled to speak in the first session in between remarks by Rick and Kay. I shared how HIV/AIDS had dominated my life, shaped my worldview, informed my faith, and redesigned my view of others. My story taught me valuable lessons for life. My illness is not a part of me, but rather it is me in so many positive ways—my marriage, my family, my vocation, my faith—and has taught me simple things about living, about how to love more and better, and about how to serve beyond my own interests. It has carved away my prejudices and fears and shaped my view of God and God’s people—the latter, unfortunately, often in a negative light. HIV/AIDS is my common story and my moral voice—the deepest place where God works his presence in me.
From the doctor’s room where, as a sixteen-year-old kid, I learned my HIV status, to the conference room of the church that would not accept me as their pastor; and from the grieving rooms where I said goodbye to friends, to the hospital rooms where my wife buried her head in my chest and cried, HIV/AIDS has been my means of grace as much as my wound of sorrow.
I feel more familiar with the disease now than angry. As much as the disease has pushed and torn at me, I know myself, the world, and God’s heart better because of it. Sure, I would prefer to be healthy and disease free, but I have become content with the struggle—maybe even, at times, not wishing to trade it away. Illness has refined my soul, and life, people, and goals mean different things because of its presence.
As Rick finished his opening remarks, I remember my heart was about to pound out of my chest. He concluded his remarks by saying, “And, now I would like to introduce you to a pastor who gets… please welcome Shane Stanford.” I walked to the podium. Rick hugged me and said, “Thanks for being here. You are a blessing.” But the real blessing was being anywhere, anytime at all. I couldn’t help but thinking that my grandfather would like this moment. Of course, I couldn’t help but remember those who along the way had meant so much and, for one reason or another, could not be there. This had not just been my fight or my battle. I looked to my right and saw Pokey sitting in the audience. She smiled such a huge smile and I could see her wink at me. And looking forward, I saw the media, cameras and over two thousand Summit participants who had their own stories and war wounds.
Standing at that podium in front of the world, I realized that, like so many others in that room, I had met the enemy over many years, and I had been fortunate enough to prosper. Yes, the disease attacked my body, but because of the disease, I attacked life with an understanding of the brokenness through which we, like Paul, can declare God’s grace to be sufficient. No, it wasn’t easy. There are still times I want to take off running or lay down and give up. Did all go as planned? I am afraid not. But the story showed that we had at least made the choice for something better and had, to our best, lived it faithfully, even when we would get it horribly wrong. Regardless, the story was real, and it was mine. With that, I began to speak and shared my story. The following is what I said…
Speech, Global AIDS Summit, 2006
As a person living with HIV and AIDS, my entire life has been a race. A race against illness and disease, against fear and uncertainty, against discrimination and prejudice. A race against time.
Sure, the race has been difficult with many twists and turns—from growing up a Hemophiliac to discovering my HIV status at sixteen to watching how the secrecy of my HIV status affected the emotional life of our family and relationships.
It is a journey with spiritual struggles and tension—from watching my denomination’s struggle over whether to ordain me to being rejected by the first church to which I was appointed as pastor.
And certainly, it is a race with great loss and disillusionment—from the loss of dear friends to the disease to the loss of others for the fear surrounding it.
No, it has not been easy, pushing me to trust beyond what I can see and understand even, at times, pressing the limits of my faith, not necessarily as much for God as for God’s people.
Certainly, this is not a path that I would have chosen. But oddly enough, so many miles into it now, I would also not trade it with anyone.
You see, HIV has also afforded me an incredible glimpse into the best of what God offers in this world and the best for what God’s people can become. This journey informs me in God’s call for each of us to respond faithfully as God’s children and teaches all of us who call ourselves “Christian” important lessons that, potentially, can change our world.
Lessons about time: Because of my illness I am reminded each day that time is a privilege given to us by God, a luxury afforded to us with the possibility that each of us can make a difference in this world.
Lessons about relationships: I am blessed with a beautiful wife, three wonderful daughters and countless family and friends who remind me that the most important things we do in this world are not done alone.
Lessons about simplicity: More, bigger, nicer, pale in comparison to simple things like sunsets with those you love and the laughter of children at play.
And most importantly, lessons about real faith: Personally, HIV reminds me every day that, with God’s grace, what I need I have, and what I have is sufficient. Sufficient to confront the struggles of my health and the uncertainties of tomorrow. Sufficient to meet the needs of others if we, the Body of Christ, might agree to meet them together. For still, more than anything I have ever known, the Body of Christ (when we truly live like it) with all of its imperfections, holds as the hope of the world, bearing witness to this amazing Gospel that says God passionately loves the unlovable, the marginalized and the forgotten.
No, HIV is not easy for any of us. But it is a journey with real lessons for real life, and if we listen carefully it can teach us much about loving God and each other.
Friends, we have a race to run. This world cannot afford to run it alone.
__________________
As the speech finished I made my way back to my seat and took a deep breath. I was glad it was over. But, I couldn’t help but think of my grandfather. It was a long way from our golf hillside to the hills of Orange County, California and the world’s most prominent church stage. But, the journey seemed almost expected, prophesied in part by a very proud, but worried grandfather whose belief in his God (though not by much he would later admit) was still enough to outpace his fear of the world.
Somewhere, I knew my grandfather was smiling at that moment, whispering between his lips, “Good choice, Sport… Good choice, indeed.”
Be Salt and Light… You Matter…
Shane
Last week, I shared with you an excerpt that talked about choices—choices learned from conversations with my grandfather at our “special place” overlooking a golf course. One of those conversations set in motion how I assimilated some of the most difficult news of my life and how I committed myself to living everyday to make a difference for Christ.
This week’s excerpt picks up where last week’s left off, except this time some twenty-give years later overlooking a different setting, but, also, with long term consequences for my life. This setting was Saddleback Community Church when I, at the invitation of Rick and Kay Warren, shared my story about those early choices.
____________________
Excerpt from “A Positive Life” by Shane Stanford. Prologue, Section: “A Different Stage”
Nearly twenty years after that moment with my grandfather, I shared my story at the Saddleback Global AIDS Summit, founded by Kay and Rick Warren. My grandfather had been right. The story itself made a difference for people, even when it was not particularly welcome and when people did not know what to do with it.
I was scheduled to speak in the first session in between remarks by Rick and Kay. I shared how HIV/AIDS had dominated my life, shaped my worldview, informed my faith, and redesigned my view of others. My story taught me valuable lessons for life. My illness is not a part of me, but rather it is me in so many positive ways—my marriage, my family, my vocation, my faith—and has taught me simple things about living, about how to love more and better, and about how to serve beyond my own interests. It has carved away my prejudices and fears and shaped my view of God and God’s people—the latter, unfortunately, often in a negative light. HIV/AIDS is my common story and my moral voice—the deepest place where God works his presence in me.
From the doctor’s room where, as a sixteen-year-old kid, I learned my HIV status, to the conference room of the church that would not accept me as their pastor; and from the grieving rooms where I said goodbye to friends, to the hospital rooms where my wife buried her head in my chest and cried, HIV/AIDS has been my means of grace as much as my wound of sorrow.
I feel more familiar with the disease now than angry. As much as the disease has pushed and torn at me, I know myself, the world, and God’s heart better because of it. Sure, I would prefer to be healthy and disease free, but I have become content with the struggle—maybe even, at times, not wishing to trade it away. Illness has refined my soul, and life, people, and goals mean different things because of its presence.
As Rick finished his opening remarks, I remember my heart was about to pound out of my chest. He concluded his remarks by saying, “And, now I would like to introduce you to a pastor who gets… please welcome Shane Stanford.” I walked to the podium. Rick hugged me and said, “Thanks for being here. You are a blessing.” But the real blessing was being anywhere, anytime at all. I couldn’t help but thinking that my grandfather would like this moment. Of course, I couldn’t help but remember those who along the way had meant so much and, for one reason or another, could not be there. This had not just been my fight or my battle. I looked to my right and saw Pokey sitting in the audience. She smiled such a huge smile and I could see her wink at me. And looking forward, I saw the media, cameras and over two thousand Summit participants who had their own stories and war wounds.
Standing at that podium in front of the world, I realized that, like so many others in that room, I had met the enemy over many years, and I had been fortunate enough to prosper. Yes, the disease attacked my body, but because of the disease, I attacked life with an understanding of the brokenness through which we, like Paul, can declare God’s grace to be sufficient. No, it wasn’t easy. There are still times I want to take off running or lay down and give up. Did all go as planned? I am afraid not. But the story showed that we had at least made the choice for something better and had, to our best, lived it faithfully, even when we would get it horribly wrong. Regardless, the story was real, and it was mine. With that, I began to speak and shared my story. The following is what I said…
Speech, Global AIDS Summit, 2006
As a person living with HIV and AIDS, my entire life has been a race. A race against illness and disease, against fear and uncertainty, against discrimination and prejudice. A race against time.
Sure, the race has been difficult with many twists and turns—from growing up a Hemophiliac to discovering my HIV status at sixteen to watching how the secrecy of my HIV status affected the emotional life of our family and relationships.
It is a journey with spiritual struggles and tension—from watching my denomination’s struggle over whether to ordain me to being rejected by the first church to which I was appointed as pastor.
And certainly, it is a race with great loss and disillusionment—from the loss of dear friends to the disease to the loss of others for the fear surrounding it.
No, it has not been easy, pushing me to trust beyond what I can see and understand even, at times, pressing the limits of my faith, not necessarily as much for God as for God’s people.
Certainly, this is not a path that I would have chosen. But oddly enough, so many miles into it now, I would also not trade it with anyone.
You see, HIV has also afforded me an incredible glimpse into the best of what God offers in this world and the best for what God’s people can become. This journey informs me in God’s call for each of us to respond faithfully as God’s children and teaches all of us who call ourselves “Christian” important lessons that, potentially, can change our world.
Lessons about time: Because of my illness I am reminded each day that time is a privilege given to us by God, a luxury afforded to us with the possibility that each of us can make a difference in this world.
Lessons about relationships: I am blessed with a beautiful wife, three wonderful daughters and countless family and friends who remind me that the most important things we do in this world are not done alone.
Lessons about simplicity: More, bigger, nicer, pale in comparison to simple things like sunsets with those you love and the laughter of children at play.
And most importantly, lessons about real faith: Personally, HIV reminds me every day that, with God’s grace, what I need I have, and what I have is sufficient. Sufficient to confront the struggles of my health and the uncertainties of tomorrow. Sufficient to meet the needs of others if we, the Body of Christ, might agree to meet them together. For still, more than anything I have ever known, the Body of Christ (when we truly live like it) with all of its imperfections, holds as the hope of the world, bearing witness to this amazing Gospel that says God passionately loves the unlovable, the marginalized and the forgotten.
No, HIV is not easy for any of us. But it is a journey with real lessons for real life, and if we listen carefully it can teach us much about loving God and each other.
Friends, we have a race to run. This world cannot afford to run it alone.
__________________
As the speech finished I made my way back to my seat and took a deep breath. I was glad it was over. But, I couldn’t help but think of my grandfather. It was a long way from our golf hillside to the hills of Orange County, California and the world’s most prominent church stage. But, the journey seemed almost expected, prophesied in part by a very proud, but worried grandfather whose belief in his God (though not by much he would later admit) was still enough to outpace his fear of the world.
Somewhere, I knew my grandfather was smiling at that moment, whispering between his lips, “Good choice, Sport… Good choice, indeed.”
Be Salt and Light… You Matter…
Shane
Thursday, September 10, 2009
We Always Have A Choice, Part I
My grandfather was my hero. He was also my best friend, until he passed away in 1997.
There was nothing I couldn’t tell him. His quiet spirit and wisdom always knew the right thing to say or the right moment not to say anything at all.
My grandfather shared a special time and place from the time I was a young boy, just after my parents’ divorce. First, we went to an orchard just across the road from the family farm. Later, we went to a hill overlooking a golf course. These were our moments.
The following is an excerpt from A Positive Life, a memoir of my life until now. Over the next two weeks, I talk about choices. The section is taken from the Prologue of the book entitled, “More than the Sum of What We Can Say”. I hope you enjoy it.
_____________________
(Excerpt from A Positive Life, Zondervan 2010, Prologue section: “More than Sum of What We Can Say”)
The first weekend I spent with my grandparents after the diagnosis was awkward. My disease was not discussed. No one wanted to be the first to mention the situation. After Sunday breakfast, my grandfather asked me to take a ride with him. We drove the familiar road to the hill overlooking the golf course and sat together for a few moments in silence.
It was always my grandfather’s habit when we would arrive to say an “open eye” prayer. He liked to say that no one else would want him to say a prayer with your eyes open because “prayer was supposed to be with our eyes closed and our heads bowed”. But sitting here or in the orchard, my grandfather would ask, “How can we pray to God and be thankful for all we have and see and be afraid to look up and actually take it all in?”
It always made sense to me when were sitting there, though I dared not try the open-eye prayer anywhere else. My grandfather also said that looking up meant making the prayer about God more than about ourselves, which so many prayers seemed to be. So we would pray, looking up, around, and at each other. It was always a great moment, filled with some laughter, smiles, and the occasional loving, quiet stare from a grandfather to his grandson.
On this particular day, my grandfather finished the prayer and then took my hand. He had looked over at me several times, and we knew there was more in the air than just the breeze and much more to discuss.
Finally, my grandfather broke the silence: “So, what are you going to do with this thing?” He never used the letters HIV or AIDS and he never talked about sickness or disease. But I knew exactly what he was talking about.
“I don’t know. There’s no cure,” I said, looking down messing with a blade of grass or some loose rock. “There is not much of a choice.”
“You always have a choice,” my grandfather said, his voice steady. He was straightforward in his words but not gruff or difficult in his tone. But he wanted me to hear and pay attention.
“What choice do I have?” I asked. There didn’t seem to be many choices on my end. The doctors had not given any and most, if not everyone in my life, were walking around as though resigned to something else … to no choices available. “Sometimes,” I finally added, “I just feel like running as fast as I could. I am not sure where I would go, but just to see if I could outrun this feeling of loneliness and dread in my life.” My grandfather was listening.
“And then there are times, I just want to lay down and let it be over. Some days, it is hard to find the reason to feel joyful again. That scares me more than the disease.”
My grandfather had looked back at the horizon. I could tell he was thinking.
“I know there is a lot to consider over the next weeks. The doctor is telling me a lot about what I need to think about in terms of my treatment. So I am trying to get the right info and make good decisions. But choices?” I asked. “About life … really, about life? I don’t know about that.”
My grandfather and I sat there for a few moments. I was trying to be honest with him about where my heart was in this news and in this whole fight. I had faced a lot in my life, but this was different. The face of this disease was bigger than all of us put together. And the impact was not just about my life, but about so many others in my family. Lest we forget, this was all being done in secret, since most people could not at that point in the disease’s timeline get their brains around the idea of what me being HIV positive would mean for them, our family, or our community.
My grandfather shifted his body language to turn more toward me. He leaned against the ground with his left arm so that he could look me in the eye. “If anybody has a right to get in the corner and have a pity party about this, it’s you. It’s very raw deal, and I can’t tell you that I understand it or have even begun to confront my anger over it. But as bad as this seems—and I know it’s bad—you have a choice to make. You can get in that corner, and if you want me to, I will get in there with you.” My grandfather paused. I had never heard him talk about giving up or giving in to anything. But here he was with tears in his eyes, saying that he would crawl into that pity party hole with me, if that is where I went and he needed to go.
“But I know you, maybe better than anyone, and I know what is in your heart and deep in your soul, and I think you are going to make a choice other than pity, retreat, or surrender. I think you are going to live each day to the fullest with everything you have. I think you are going to take each day, no matter how many you have, and make something of them. No one can ask any more of you.”
He stopped and looked into my eyes. “And son, I think you making that choice will mean something someday.”
____________________
My grandfather understood the power of our choices. I learned their power, too. And, it is not always the “decision” we make as much the process we use that ultimately sets the stage for God’s most profound lessons and displays of grace and wisdom. The ability for the Creation to have “free will” and the ability to make “choices” that define our present and future is the most significant gift the Creator could give us. And, we make use and worth of that gift everyday, in large and small ways alike.
Over the next couple of weeks, I pray you will think diligently about the choices you make and about the prayer, thought and consideration you take in making them. What is God wanting you to learn from your choices? What does the process tell us about how God has already worked a miracle in us before we ever make them?
Next week, I will share another conversation from another vantage point about everyday wisdom and the choices we make. A different “stage” than the hillside from when I was 16 years old and newly diagnosed, but nonetheless the important into whose I would become and for what God would do in and through me across the journey.
Until then… You ALWAYS Have A Choice.
Be Salt and Light… You Matter…
Shane
My grandfather was my hero. He was also my best friend, until he passed away in 1997.
There was nothing I couldn’t tell him. His quiet spirit and wisdom always knew the right thing to say or the right moment not to say anything at all.
My grandfather shared a special time and place from the time I was a young boy, just after my parents’ divorce. First, we went to an orchard just across the road from the family farm. Later, we went to a hill overlooking a golf course. These were our moments.
The following is an excerpt from A Positive Life, a memoir of my life until now. Over the next two weeks, I talk about choices. The section is taken from the Prologue of the book entitled, “More than the Sum of What We Can Say”. I hope you enjoy it.
_____________________
(Excerpt from A Positive Life, Zondervan 2010, Prologue section: “More than Sum of What We Can Say”)
The first weekend I spent with my grandparents after the diagnosis was awkward. My disease was not discussed. No one wanted to be the first to mention the situation. After Sunday breakfast, my grandfather asked me to take a ride with him. We drove the familiar road to the hill overlooking the golf course and sat together for a few moments in silence.
It was always my grandfather’s habit when we would arrive to say an “open eye” prayer. He liked to say that no one else would want him to say a prayer with your eyes open because “prayer was supposed to be with our eyes closed and our heads bowed”. But sitting here or in the orchard, my grandfather would ask, “How can we pray to God and be thankful for all we have and see and be afraid to look up and actually take it all in?”
It always made sense to me when were sitting there, though I dared not try the open-eye prayer anywhere else. My grandfather also said that looking up meant making the prayer about God more than about ourselves, which so many prayers seemed to be. So we would pray, looking up, around, and at each other. It was always a great moment, filled with some laughter, smiles, and the occasional loving, quiet stare from a grandfather to his grandson.
On this particular day, my grandfather finished the prayer and then took my hand. He had looked over at me several times, and we knew there was more in the air than just the breeze and much more to discuss.
Finally, my grandfather broke the silence: “So, what are you going to do with this thing?” He never used the letters HIV or AIDS and he never talked about sickness or disease. But I knew exactly what he was talking about.
“I don’t know. There’s no cure,” I said, looking down messing with a blade of grass or some loose rock. “There is not much of a choice.”
“You always have a choice,” my grandfather said, his voice steady. He was straightforward in his words but not gruff or difficult in his tone. But he wanted me to hear and pay attention.
“What choice do I have?” I asked. There didn’t seem to be many choices on my end. The doctors had not given any and most, if not everyone in my life, were walking around as though resigned to something else … to no choices available. “Sometimes,” I finally added, “I just feel like running as fast as I could. I am not sure where I would go, but just to see if I could outrun this feeling of loneliness and dread in my life.” My grandfather was listening.
“And then there are times, I just want to lay down and let it be over. Some days, it is hard to find the reason to feel joyful again. That scares me more than the disease.”
My grandfather had looked back at the horizon. I could tell he was thinking.
“I know there is a lot to consider over the next weeks. The doctor is telling me a lot about what I need to think about in terms of my treatment. So I am trying to get the right info and make good decisions. But choices?” I asked. “About life … really, about life? I don’t know about that.”
My grandfather and I sat there for a few moments. I was trying to be honest with him about where my heart was in this news and in this whole fight. I had faced a lot in my life, but this was different. The face of this disease was bigger than all of us put together. And the impact was not just about my life, but about so many others in my family. Lest we forget, this was all being done in secret, since most people could not at that point in the disease’s timeline get their brains around the idea of what me being HIV positive would mean for them, our family, or our community.
My grandfather shifted his body language to turn more toward me. He leaned against the ground with his left arm so that he could look me in the eye. “If anybody has a right to get in the corner and have a pity party about this, it’s you. It’s very raw deal, and I can’t tell you that I understand it or have even begun to confront my anger over it. But as bad as this seems—and I know it’s bad—you have a choice to make. You can get in that corner, and if you want me to, I will get in there with you.” My grandfather paused. I had never heard him talk about giving up or giving in to anything. But here he was with tears in his eyes, saying that he would crawl into that pity party hole with me, if that is where I went and he needed to go.
“But I know you, maybe better than anyone, and I know what is in your heart and deep in your soul, and I think you are going to make a choice other than pity, retreat, or surrender. I think you are going to live each day to the fullest with everything you have. I think you are going to take each day, no matter how many you have, and make something of them. No one can ask any more of you.”
He stopped and looked into my eyes. “And son, I think you making that choice will mean something someday.”
____________________
My grandfather understood the power of our choices. I learned their power, too. And, it is not always the “decision” we make as much the process we use that ultimately sets the stage for God’s most profound lessons and displays of grace and wisdom. The ability for the Creation to have “free will” and the ability to make “choices” that define our present and future is the most significant gift the Creator could give us. And, we make use and worth of that gift everyday, in large and small ways alike.
Over the next couple of weeks, I pray you will think diligently about the choices you make and about the prayer, thought and consideration you take in making them. What is God wanting you to learn from your choices? What does the process tell us about how God has already worked a miracle in us before we ever make them?
Next week, I will share another conversation from another vantage point about everyday wisdom and the choices we make. A different “stage” than the hillside from when I was 16 years old and newly diagnosed, but nonetheless the important into whose I would become and for what God would do in and through me across the journey.
Until then… You ALWAYS Have A Choice.
Be Salt and Light… You Matter…
Shane
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